What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why do I feel like I want to suck a big dick after injecting meth?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

California schools are very liberal. Do you think California schools are teaching students to hate Republican views (views on: God, guns, prayer, secure borders, etc.)?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What is your best gay fantasy?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Does any unofficial Roman Catholic card exist in the world to play? In Italy, Rome & the Vatican City, can practising Catholics get any discounts as a tourist, & / or privileged admission to certain sights, with different rules for non Catholics?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Does the West have a defense against China's PL17 air-air missile?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What are the most outrageous violations of restaurant buffet etiquette have you seen?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Do women wear undies under leggings?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What caused the stock market to crash?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What are some common examples of condescending behavior?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!